The Wall is The Way

    Three keys to shifting adversity into advantage and turning 'IMPOTENT' into 'OMNIPOTENT'.

                 "Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extra-ordinary destiny" C. S. Lewis

Just over three months ago, I found myself on the brink of losing my livelihood, my home and my soul.

By December 2016 my partner David and I, had spent two and a half years of intense financial and 

energetic investment creating a dreamy Auberge at the foot of a 12th century castle ruin,

n the French Pyrenees mountains where I've lived for 26 years.

Despite enjoying a healthy turnover, awards and terrific feedback from clients, the press, Trip Advisor 

and local opinion, the rug was pulled from under our feet by the village council, the landlords of the 

property, who succeeded in forcing me into voluntary insolvency.

 To make it worse, legal officials dealing with the messy after-effects, declared that there had 

been anomalies' committed by the said council and we deduced that we had unwittingly been the victim

 of discrimination and a plot to get us out. The legal officials added that we would have a hard time 

proving it. 

Faced with being homeless and money-less, I plunged into a dark state of feeling IMPOTENT.

As we veered around in shock, witnessing the loss of our livelihood, our home, our belongings, the huge

 investment we had made on our business, the injustice and illegality of it all, I was aware of a growing 

sense of  the surreal. 

Throughout the process of implosion, it was terrifying seeing how flimsy was the life we'd worked so 

hard for. It literally disintegrated before our very eyes. In early December I had no idea where we were 

going to live, and what we were going to do next. But we had to be out by the end of the month.

The days passed in a fog of unpleasant dealings with the French administrations, packing up house and

 business, finding new ways to cope with stress. 

It wasn't just the uncertainty and shock. In attempting to find compromises and common ground for a 

peaceful outcome, the council proved themselves mean and unscrupulous, fusty-minded, and

shrivelled-hearted. But at that point, I didn't realise how grateful I would feel that they were...

Calmly and courageously I began taking each step that required my attention. Focus, presence and 

surrender were the way I prayed through my days. When the nights seemed beyond bleak, I began to do

 things I had never done before, begged for angelic help, called for miracles, stayed awake staring at the

 ceiling that was soon to be no more above our bed. Even though it was painful, I began to bring 

awareness and surrender to the situation, which gradually led to a calmer mindfulness.

I amazed myself at my own stoicism and acceptance. There was no way out but through. So mustering 

all of the wisdom I had ever practised, I decided to dive in and see how deeply I could get involved with 

being a detached witness of the unfolding saga.

I began to observe myself gradually turning to steel.

The days passed and I was training myself to behold 'what is' from a zone of neutrality and forgiveness.

Well, it was that or fall apart.

Key number one: Don't avoid an obstacle - look right at it! 

"If your life is in ruins, 

then stand amongst them and take a great photo!" Jenni P

When something 'bad' happens, you are staring eyeball to eyeball with a potential breakthrough. 

If only you can hold that certainty with clarity, you hold the possible solution to the problem in all its


Even during the most challenging weeks, every morning I would read some inspiration that would help 

me stay in that neutral zone, whatever transpired in the day. I shifted my focus from the injustice of the 

events, to my responsibility for my own reaction. I began to take the pain, and take the pain out of it.

                                And in that moment, something miraculous happened...

A wave of outraged friends and supporters rallied with a surge of support, practical help, advice, 

empathy, spells, charms and love. The offer of a home, a sanctuary, a haven of calm and peace, came in

 the nick of time. At zero, noose around the neck hour.

Overnight, the fog lifted, and as the chimes of the new year struck in the new chapel next to the haven, I

 got on my knees and gave thanks. (well actually we were invited to a party so the knees bit came next 

morning). And it was as though we'd walked through a wall, and were standing there on the other side, 

seeing the whole world stretch out in front of us as far as the eye could see.

It was suddenly so easy to see how we had actually not been pushed into struggle but released from it.

With the ensuing weeks of rest, I realised how beyond exhausted and beaten up I had been, by the effort

 I had put in for three years and the potential damage it had done to my body and my relationships.

Sleeping deeply for long nights, week after week, I began to feel grateful. I saw how during that time in 

the auberge, I'd actually been mourning all of the life values that I had abandoned. 

This business was a dream opportunity,  in a dream place, but it was not my dream.

 My body had suffered injury there, my relationships had suffered and my spirit had almost died. 

But now I was free. The rest, freedom and haven became a balm. Support continued to pour in. 

The safety of our haven enabled me to see clearly and strongly that what had happened was all for the 

good. That maybe at a subconscious level, I had actually been yearning and praying all along, 

to be free of that f*****ing struggle.

Key number 2: Take responsibility! 

"We're either in charge of our life, or not. There is no half-way place" Jenni P

In understanding the dynamics of the universe and how our thoughts and feelings directly affect the 

lining up of events, we bypass completely, the ghastly dark zone of victim-hood and own up to our 

responsibility. . And standing in our ownership of our lives, we are formidably ...


I've always been a resolute optimist, but optimism can be a false friend if underlying beliefs and 

conditioning are contradictory. Putting a brave face on and feel like sh** are counter-productive.

Since I've spent years training in skills to keep a high 'energetic vibration', as we call it, I began to see 

that this coping mechanism wasn't  just a way of making the most of the dramatic events, but that this 

was the universe's way of telling me it had my back. 

At this point, I'd tapped into a sense of good fortune and so I rose back into being ...


                                        the state of being invested with your own full power.

From this viewpoint, I was free to re-think my life, re-boot my soul's purpose and rejoice in the incredible 

opportunity that I had been given to re-connect with my dreams. 

Feeling lucky, blessed and peaceful are the most powerful emotional, spiritual and financial healers of all

                                      Key number 3: The wall is the way through! 

                        "Even clay has an opinion. Or at least, it's willing to mould to ours" Jenni P

Stare at it enough with steely calm resolve, and love in your heart, and you will actually see the atoms 

and particles of each brick of the wall crumbling before your very eyes.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” Max Planck

That wall and breaking through it, was the direct and only line I could have taken to arrive in my full and

 steady empowerment – re-aligned with my dreams and soul purpose.

What does that look like? 

All of my daily life has been re-centered on my highest values and aspirations.  

                  I create my day to be IDEAL.  I  DEAL. I choose. My IDEA. My world, my dream.

The result? Abundance comes from unexpected places, joyful events and opportunities unfolding, 

projects and collaborations with super-powerful business players and other worthy, paradigm changing 

leaders. There is time and space for play and beauty. To create and BE recreated.

Renewed connection with family and friends. I feel as if I can do anything, I have reached, once again,

 that wonderland of limitlessness and detachment. 

                      I'm on the brink of the most wonderful POTENCY of all... this one..

Moving through life with almighty grace, inspired with every breath. 

Taking no heed of who is watching. 

Keep radiating uniqueness with all its endlessly shifting variations.

Setting our compass by the laughter that rumbles around our delights. 

Focusing  and rejoicing in our talents, skills and instincts. 

Re-igniting the fire in our bellies, fire that we use to warm today's goals. 

Breaking down our own walls to see how the light bounces off the sunsets  

that we'd never noticed before.

                                                        Glimpsing the OMNIPOTENT.

Copyright Jenni Parker Brown 2017

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